My feelings about giving birth have been all over the place. Some days I think I just want it to be as 'normal' as possible and to give birth in a hospital - nothing special. Other days I think I should be doing something special and making sure it is a pleasant and pleasurable experience for both me and the baby. I've considered looking into a midwife, but I also love my OB/GYN. I'm so confused! I'm just afraid that if I have the baby at a hospital it isn't going to be special at all. I'm also not convinced that it is 100% safe or sanitary to have it at home (so that is out).
My concerns:
- I don't want them to take the baby away once it is born. I want it to stay with me the entire time. I want to breast feed right away. I don't want there to be any delay in maternal care.
- I may want to give birth in a different position than the hospital seems to think is best. Why would you give birth lying on your back with people holding your legs back in an unnatural position to your chest. Talk about making an already uncomfortable situation worse.
- I don't want Pitocen. I don't want to feel rushed. I don't want to the docs to try to make me think it is neccessary because they have other things to do. I do not want to be induced. I do not want to schedule the birth whatsoever.
- I don't want to share a room after the birth.
- I don't want an epidural, or at least I don't want to be offered one. I'll ask for it if I feel strongly enough.
- If we have a boy, I don't want to have him circumcised - is that crazy? Tim seems to think so. Let's just keep hoping for a girl!
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Anyone reading this want to share any stories, or give me any suggestions?
5 comments:
I had some of the same worries...but honestly it was NOTHING like I imagined it to be....it was BETTER! Maybe my experience was different than others, but I loved every second of it. I delivered at Orem Community because it is smaller and quieter, it seemed like, than the bigger hospitals. There was only one other baby in the nursery at the same time with Ellie.
If you don't want an epidural, then make SURE that you and your doctor are on the same page about it so that he knows not to even offer it to you. Make sure that all of the nurses know that as well before you go in.
I wanted to have Ellie come when she was ready to come, but sometimes babies are stubborn! :) and you can't wait too long to have the baby, or else it can be unhealthy for the baby. So as far as pitocen goes, I had to take it because Ellie was way over her due date and would not come out! And she was growing too big to stay in my stomach. So they gave me pitocen and everything went to smoothly. I have never had a birth without pitocen, so it is hard to compare, but I didn't have any problems with the medicine. So, what I am trying to say is that I wouldn't be too scared to take pitocen if your doctor thinks you should.
As far as the positions in the hospital, I am sure you could do some research and see what hospitals will accomodate your wants and needs. I couldn't imagine many hospitals not letting you do whatever position you want. Orem Community was very good about making me feel comfortable. My nurses were amazing!! But I have heard that you can get midwives at the American Fork hospital and they might be more open to different positions etc.
You said you were worried about the experience not being special, and honestly, I think no matter where you give birth, it will be special! Everything around you just disapears when that baby comes out:) Orem Community was great because it was just my doctor and two nurses in there when i gave birth. When Ellie came out, they immediately wrapped her up and put her on my chest because I was vocal to them prior about wanting that so that I could have that bonding time. They wanted to check her levels and weight shortly after I held her just to make sure that she was breathing right. Which is understandable, to me. But the thing I love about Orem is they do everything right there in the room. So while they are checking her etc, she is a couple of feet away and it doesnt seem as bad as if they were to rush her away and leave you hanging.
The rooms were huge at Orem community and I never left the room or had to share a room with anyone. The nursery is really close to all the rooms, verses on a different floor or something so it's nice to walk right to it from your room.
WOW. sorry that was so long! HOpe it helped.
I think that everything you are feeling is completely normal. I had my second baby at a birthing center with a midwife and would do it the same way again and again(if i were to have more that is). It was so nice to just follow my body, let it do what it needed to do and the midwives are there to help that process go naturally and safely. I had my baby in a tub and it was amazing. Yes it still hurts like hell but there is a sense of relief in the water. He was on my chest the second he was born and they never just took him from me. they asked if they could measure him and weigh him and that didn't happen for at least half hour or longer. within a few hours i was home in my own home and recovering the way i felt i needed to. i felt amazing and my recovery was quick. i loved the whole experience! i feel the way it is done in a hospital should only be for dangerous and extreme situations and not healthy births. hospitals are great for the comfort of knowing if anything were to go wrong, you are already there. so midwives and all natural is my 2 cents! good luck on your decision!
First off do what you FEEL is right every persons birth story is different and you won't hear two the same. Here is my story book: My biggest mistake was going to a hospital and using a Doctors Midwife. I went 42 hours with my Midwife all natural with no drugs it was GREAT!!! ...and then ended in an emergency C-section by Dr.Young who was routing for a C-section the whole time. Two weeks later had him laugh when I thought I my C-section was infected that evening went to the ER wih 105 degree temp and every organ in me was infected stayed in the hospital another 2 weeks STUPID doctor! I should have choosen a good doctor as well I just thought I wouldn't need one. I have researched some awsome midwives locally I plan on using next time and then having a good Doctor on the back burner if needed.. On a good note I highly reccomend the Hypno Birthing Classes, it was the best thing about giving birth. I was so nice and so clam the whole time it really was amazing!! Matt really enjoyed the classes too gave him a good idea of what to expect and how to handle it. I think next time I am going to do a water birth I didn't want to get out of the tub and they made me. Next timeI will do it at home or at a Midwife clinic which is super close to the hospital I just hate hospital settings so not relaxing.. I also will be alot more particular when choosing a midwife and always have a great doctor you trust if you go that route. The hospital didn't like my natural route and they harassed me the whole time. I also didn't want Noah touched, they gave him the drops in the eyes and such even though I told them NO. I really felt taken advantage of and they didn't even look at my Birthplan or care that I wanted it natural they wanted to do a C-section from the get go. I also didn't want Noah circumcised but Matt DID so I went with it but I here you on that! I am SO SO SO excited for you guys it is the most amazing thing ever having a baby and I didn't even want one. Get lots of rest it may be your last chance! SSL
Have you talked to your doc about all of it? If they don't agree with how you want it. Talk to a midwife. I've never met anyone who didn't love their midwife (but you may have to do it soon, some docs won't take on a new patient after 20/25 weeks)
All I can tell you is about when Kinleigh was born, I delivered at AF hospital. She left my arms for about 1 min, that's how long it took them to weigh her, measure her, and do whatever else. We stayed in the delivery room for about an hour, and I fed her about 10 min after she was born. After that we were given our own room with a pull out bed for Matt. Then they had to take her for test a few hours after she was born, but you can walk, and you want to, you can go with her.
I did have an epi (cause I am a wimp) and pitocen (but I was induced), but you can opt out, they asked when we got there if I wanted an epi, at that point you could tell them no and don't ask again! haha And if you don't get one they have birthing balls and things that I hear are great, and it gives you other options for birth positions (you have to be on your back with an epi...I've been told). I've also been told that don't do circumcisions at the hospitals anymore. You have to go into the doc to have it done. (The docs get more money that way)
The only other thing is that I think no matter how the baby's birth happens it will always be special to you. The first time you hold your baby is magical, no matter what! :)
I don't know if any of that helps, but there you have it! I'd say don't worry... but we all do! lol You're a mama now, and you will do what you know is best for your baby!
I have two kids. My daughter came first. I wanted an at-home water birth, midwife and all. But, those things cost money. So, there went that idea. But, I still had all kinds of plans as to how it was going to play out come the big day... Fast forward to the big day and I show up at the hospital. First, I have to argue with the nurses who insist I must be wrong about being in labor. I had gained 45 pounds, but carried it close to my body, so there was no "basketball tummy" and most people didn't know I was pregnant, much less sitting on my due date. I finally got them to admit me to the hospital, and I was having contractions and was dilated, but the water sac wouldn't break. They manually broke it open, which meant they gave drugs to induce as well. They usally give a pain killer as well, but I was allergic so they skipped that part. They tried to give me an epidural even though I kept yelling at them not to and had never signed a consent for them to give me one. My boyfriend at the time stepped in and stopped them from doing an epidural. My daughter started to crown and the nurses told me that since the dr on call (who I'd never met) wasn't there yet, I had to endure those contractions without pushing. I made it through three, then couldn't take it any more. The dr made it into the room just in time to catch her on the way out. I did convince them to let me nurse her shortly after birth, and we paid extra to get a solo room and convinced them to let her stay in my room. We got out of the hospital after only 2 days (I think they just didn't want to have to deal with me, because their policy is 3 days)... Fast forward to now and I have a wonderful, bright and intelligent almost 8 year old who is vegan, homeschooled, and does everything she can to help make everyone else's life easier and better. She was born that way.
Then there's my son. I learned from my daughter that plans don't always work out the way you anticipate. Yet, I still made plans. First and foremost, if he was a boy, there would be no circumcision (I chose not to find out the sex before birth with both of my kids). I also called a doula and had arrangements made to start meeting with her at around 7 months, so that his birth could be more natural than my daughter's had been... At 26 weeks, the ultrasounds showed a lack of growth. They monitored him every other day for 2 weeks. At 28 weeks (6 mo), they did a c-section. The umbilical cord was deteriorating and he wasn't getting proper nourishment. By that time, he had less than 24 hours left to live. But he made it. He spent 4 weeks in NICU (the longest 4 weeks of my life), and finally got to come home at 1 month and 1 day old... And now I have a wonderful, happy 4 year old. I did tell them no to the circumcision, and both of my kids do not recieve their immunizations. I plan on homeschooling my son, although I will have to make lots of adjustments to do so. He has severe developmental delays, autism, mild cerebral palsy, and severe hearing loss in both ears. He is completely non-verbal, and the size of a typical 2 year old. He does not respond to pain, and screams for hours on end about having to go shopping or dealing with strangers... He is also the most happy, independent, and creative boy I've ever met. He's exactly how he's supposed to be and nothing could be more perfect...
I guess in the end, the whole point is to say "sure, make plans". But, more importantly, make sure that your plans have back ups and enough breathing room that you can handle whatever life decides to toss your way. Don't think of preganancy and parenthood as one more thing to do or something to get through. Think of it as a long journey that has a million possible routes, and you get to have an adventure finding the one that's right for you. Good luck :)
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